Dr. Snarky Sparks\u2019 office officially became grid-free April 1. No more smarty-pants meter, grid or utility bill. The office waiting room chairs, toilet seats and medical implements, as well as officemate Dr. Shrinky\u2019s couch, are warmed by power produced by rooftop photovoltaic panels. Biogas created from pooper scooper collections at a nearby dog park fires up the water heater. A pellet burning stove has carbon capture and sequestration, which is used to carbonate office beverages. To exceed the Platinum LEED rating, Dr. Snarky et al. encourage patients to lighten their carbon footprint with discounts for those who walk, bike, or take public transportation to and from their checkups. Additional discounts are available for memberships to zero net energy gyms, which capture and convert sweaty calories into AC\/DC. Not an April foolish venture are real stationary bikes, powering real stuff. \u201cThe combination of our ECO-POWRT treadmill motors and our Green System ellipticals and cycles will save facilities thousands in energy costs,\u201d according to Ken Carpenter, Sales for SportsArt Fitness director. Whether a biker can watch TV while exercising depends on their fitness level. Foolishness remains, April or not. Top billing on the fossil fool list was given to TransCanada for its pursuit of the Keystone tar sands project. Runner up was Chesapeake Energy, named \u201cthe leading proponent of \u2018fracking\u2019 for natural gas, and accused of financing itself using junk bonds and shady financial practices,\u201d stated the Energy Action Coalition, a coalition of 40 youth-led social and environmental justice organizations. One who didn\u2019t make the fools list was a plant manager at the currently shuttered San Onofre nuclear plant. It\u2019s a case of fact being stranger than fiction--and fools. Last week, the Nuclear Regulatory Commission released its findings following its security inspection at the San Onofre nuke. The inspection and accompanying report, noted the NRC\u2019s findings \u201cwere discussed on February 17, 2012, with Mr. T. McCool,\u201d SONGS\u2019 plant manager. Having a McCool in a potentially very hot plant is psychology 101, Dr. Shrinky pointed out. Hot in a bad way is the company started by rocker Neil Young to create his LincVolt hybrid electric car. The company was sued for nearly $500,000 after the car allegedly started a fire that damaged a couple of warehouses in San Carlos. The suit filed earlier this year in San Mateo Superior Court by Unigard Insurance, says LincVolt LLC, which lists Young as an officer, was negligent when it converted the 1959 Lincoln Continental to run on electricity and a biodiesel-powered generator,\u201d reported the Bay Area News Group. A malfunction while the car was charging set off a blaze in November 2010. The casualties were largely Young\u2019s rock \u2018n\u2019 roll instruments, photos, and film footage as well as his boat-sized Lincoln that was converted in 2008 from gasoline to hybrid power. The lilac-colored car is being rebuilt (wwwlincvolt.com). \u201cSmart efficient cars and trucks can be big and safe, carrying huge payloads and performing tasks not anticipated in current designs,\u201d states the Lincvolt website. Also getting burned these days are climate change scientists. \u201cThose of us who grew up in the sixties, when we put men on the Moon, now have to watch as every Republican candidate for this year\u2019s presidential election denies the science behind climate change and evolution,\u201d Professor Naomi Oreskes, of the University of California, San Diego, warned during the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual meeting held in February. \u201cI am profoundly depressed at just how difficult it has become merely to get a realistic conversation started on issues such as climate change or genetically modified organisms,\u201d added Nina Fedoroff, AAAS president.