Office visits to Dr. Snarky Sparks have spiked with the rise in the mercury. A steady line of heat stroke claimants in and outside the Capitol come in for tests although the A\/C continues chilling the toasty outside air. Officemate Dr. Shrinky also has been inundated by those suffering from the impacts of Mercury. This Mercury is with a capitol, er, capital \u201cM.\u201d The doctors\u2019 offices are normally a \u201cwoo-woo\u201d-free zone. No astrological charts, only anatomical ones. Yet, with so many glitches, misfires, and Freaky Friday the 13th, the doctors harken to their holistic mentor: The Boss Who Believes in Mercury in Retrograde. Among those patients getting couch time was Dr. Snarky, whose nerves were fried by ongoing office malfunctions the last several days, which was exacerbated by the office pooch suffering from heat stroke. The good doctor was only able to squeeze in a visit after calming down Dr. Shrinky following a near miss. A ceiling light in the mental health doc\u2019s office took a bungee jump mid week without the bungee cord, leaving shards of glass, but sparing the psychiatrist\u2019s vital Scorpio signs. Also taking unprotected leaps during the heat spell are numerous pieces of legislation. Bills are being gutted after passing all the committee hurdles and turned in to completely new measures--and ones not subject to the legislators\u2019 or Dr. Snarky\u2019s laborious physical exam. One of the plummeting planets is an overhauled AB 1552 thanks to Assemblymember (and perhaps planet Pluto-crat) Steven Bradford (D-Inglewood). The measure previously extended donations of electricity to charitable organizations but now extends the charitable part to the Los Angeles Department of Water & Power. The amended bill by Bradford, representing a district that includes parts of Los Angeles, now gives the LADWP a free astronomical pass on recent state regulatory requirements aimed at turning off the spigot of water-guzzling coastal power plants to protect marine life. LADWP has been very vocal since the new regulations were proposed eons ago. Of late, general manager Austin Beutner says curbing once-through water cooling at three aging L.A. power plants is estimated to cost $1.7 billion. The rules developed and finalized by the State Water Resources Control Board aim to phase out 19 plants that use billions of gallons of marine water to cool spinning turbines, including L.A.\u2019s three major power plants by 2015, 2019, and 2020 respectively. If the new language by the chair of the Assembly Utilities & Commerce Committee rockets in the final days of the Legislative session, the department would be allowed to continue harming the marine environment until 2031. Private sector power generators get no similar break under the bill. The head honchos at the LADWP were working on multiple fronts, not just because of the state of planetary affairs. They met with the State Water board to hash out their differences this week. On the afternoon of August 26, LADWP put out a press release stating it would not pursue legislation to get its way on the once-through cooling. \u201cThe joint efforts are leading toward a balanced solution--a solution which minimizes costs and achieves the objectives of the new [once-through cooling] policy,\u201d according to Beutner. Or in plain English, the Water Board caved in. Another bill on the gutted and amended trajectory is AB 1012 by Assemblymember Manuel Perez (D-Coachella). It likely will be the vehicle for the governor\u2019s wish list for power plant siting reforms that seek to speed up state and local permitting of large solar and other renewable projects in the Southern California desert. Mercury was in retrograde again for \u201cEnron\u201d--at least the fictional version of the former power company this time. Its run in New York was cut short. While a huge hit in London, the combo play, music, dance, and video that called itself a \u201cTrue Story of False Profits\u201d just didn\u2019t soar in U.S. galaxies. It closed after 15 performances. James Fuld, Jr., a producer of \u201cEnron,\u201d said the production failed to find a target audience. \u201cIt did not attract the Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs and J.P. Morgan crowd--perhaps the Goldman Sachs testimony on television, people could see it for free,\u201d reportedly said Fuld, who pointed out he was not related to Richard Fuld Jr., former Lehman Brothers chair.